WIP My artfight attack n° 15

Let me start by telling you a story.
Back in June, in preparation for my first year participating in artfight, I went looking for characters that sparked my fancy. That's when I came across this two: Philidel and Yvain.
These two were the first characters I bookmarked, already knowing I wanted to draw then having tea together.
Since they were the first, I wanted it to be something special, at least, something I can look back to with pride. So I started with a few sketches, which were fine but didn't feel special enough. I got some attacks in, I got more confident in my digital art and I tried going that route. But after getting halfway into the drawing I realized I wasn't happy with the proportions and redrew it. And once again I got a third of the way painting and stopped again. I'd say what I did with the lineart wasn't working (which is true) but in reality it was just that I didn't feel confident enough to make something special.
After that I decided to go back to paper, where I have the most practice and felt most confident at. Again I made over half a drawing where I felt the limitations of my choice. The paper wasn't big enough for the amount of detail I wanted. I could have just powered through and finished that drawing, it's still sitting there in my table.
If I had chosen either to continue digitally or in pencil, I would have been done days ago.
Instead I chose to make a poster size oil painting.
It took me five days.

Am I telling this just to complain? Yes, of course, but also to try to get out some of my feelings on this whole thing. I'm bad at writing feelings so bear with me please.
I'm soft for a story of two misfits that fit well together, and that has been how these two came across to me. And I'm weak to the fantasies that I make in my own head. I hesitated joining artfight for years. My own art is so important to me, and putting myself out there had my insecurities going wild. I push past them and I'm having a lot of fun now, but it took me a moment to get there. And during that moment, checking for characters between working on my own refrences, I found Yvain. He is (in the most platonic way possible) just my type of character. A loner with a soft side for his best friend, Philidel. So I figured out how to bookmark characters because I knew then and there what I wanted to do; and inadvertently, they started to mean so much to me. To me they were my own triumph over my shyness. And the idea that a misfit like me can also find a place to fit in. There's a reason I have a soft spot for those stories after all.
It's very weird thinking that this is gift for someone else. That I can put my whole soul into it but as soon as it's out of my hands I no longer control what happens with it. Barbara_arrow, if you read this, I hope my gift brightened your day! But even if it didn't, at least let me thank you, because you have alredy made my days brighter.

Well, with all the sappy stuff out of the way, check out the extras: some progress pics and some closeups.
I'll try to give them some format later, once I'm no longer high on paint-thinner fumes.